I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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