I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
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Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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