they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize