I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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