Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
