i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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