One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Randomize
