I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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