Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
