So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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