i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
