Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
