and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
