I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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