You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize