i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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