After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
