Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor