Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex