She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes