Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.