I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
