apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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