Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
