genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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