when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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