Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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