Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
