I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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