thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
