Little spoons don't ask big questions
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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