halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This is the high leading the old right now
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
