I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
