White coat. Heels.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
