do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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