All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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