Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
