So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
