It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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