Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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