I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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