Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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