sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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