don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?