Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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