it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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