I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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