She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
