Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
where are you?
Hypothermia
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
