My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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