I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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