I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.