Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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