I need to stop coming to work sober
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
