rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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