this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
