Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
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He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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