Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
