My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
