i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
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I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
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She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????